Is all this technology a good thing?

Everyone over 12 years old is carrying a phone in their pocket. Books with pages are being replaced by some thing with a small screen capable of projecting the words of thousands of books on the screen. No need to send a letter anymore, email is much quicker.

I thought about getting Elaine one of those book things. Elaine enjoys reading in bed. She informed me she likes books with paper pages. She knows the sound of turning pages keeps me awake. I don’t see her getting one any time soon.

Whether all these electronics are good or not, they’re here to stay. I personally acquired my first cell phone in 1989. I didn’t buy it. It was issued to me by my employer. I was working for a tech savvy construction company from Albuquerque. They gave me a cell phone and expected me to carry it everywhere. I was their only employee in Colorado and with a cell phone they thought I would be available 24/7.

The phone was a black handheld walkie-talkie kind of thing. As phones evolved I have had them all. A phone in a bag (like a big purse), phones mounted in my truck, “brick” phones, flip phones. I’m not kidding I have had them all. Now I have a phone with a touch screen, email capability, apps (what the hell is an app?)

I’m not sure the new phone is that great. I put it in my pocket and I hear it ring. I answer it. Here’s a typical conversation.

Me: Hello.

Caller: What did you want?

Me: You called me.

Caller: I’m returning your call.

Me: I didn’t call you.

Caller: You must have “butt” dialed me.

Call me crazy, but I didn’t want a phone that can be dialed without my knowledge by my butt.

How about retrieving voice messages? This is a typical experience for me-

My phone: You have six messages, please enter your password.

Me: (pressing the keypad) ######

Phone: I’m sorry, that is not a valid password, please try again.

Me: (pressing the keypad) ###^ (mumbling) If the damn keypad wasn’t so small I could see the numbers.

Phone: I’m sorry, that is not a valid password, please try again.

Me: Screw you (OMG, I’m talking to the phone) (pressing the keypad again) ##^^

Phone: Sorry you’re having trouble, Good-bye.

I think I know why I’m on blood pressure meds. I thought it was my kids, but I think it might be my phone.

The keypad is not the only thing that is too small. The screen is also very small. What is the point of a screen that is so small; I need to carry a magnifying glass to read it. Don’t text me; I can’t see it and I won’t return it.

I’m not happy with the credit card reading machine in the store. Again-small keypad. Last Saturday, while Elaine was teaching a knitting class, she asked me to man the cash register.

Elaine made a huge mistake. She trusted me.

While running the cashier station, I overcharged a customer by hitting the #7 instead of the #1. This wonderful lady came back Sunday to retrieve her $6.00 from Ivy.

Ivy loves to straighten out my stuff. I don’t mind letting her fix things. I think of it as payback for all the homework help I gave her.

Now as I read with glasses and my hands are not as nimble as when I was young, my hope is that my butt will operate the credit card machine, send emails, and clear voice mail.